


Snektember 2020

by SylviaW1991



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Ducks, M/M, Sunbathing, basket, beach, sneks on a plane
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:48:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26346619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SylviaW1991/pseuds/SylviaW1991
Summary: Collection of prompt fills for Snektember
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 13
Collections: Snektember 2020





	1. Sunbathing

Summer was the best time of year. If he could convince Aziraphale, he’d spend half the year in England and the other half in Australia, skip Winter entirely and merely dabble in Spring and Fall. Though he should probably be used to the chillier seasons, his body despised it. No amount of natural demonic warmth could completely erase his cold-blooded nature. It was as natural as his scales.

As natural as the sun overhead. As natural as the way he’d started his day on two legs and now definitely had none. 

The rock, though, was very much not natural. Or at least the way it had arrived in their garden wasn’t. He’d felt the holiness of a miracle all over it when he’d come out to do his rounds amongst the lush greenery he’d bullied into doing his bidding.

His bidding and his bullying was a little less volatile nowadays, but it was hard to be too vicious to greenery when one had everything they wanted. 

At the present moment, Crowley had the warmth of Summer, several sunbeams, and an angel. Awareness crept into his eternally open eyes, slender forked tongue peeking out twice more before he realized that yes, he did have his angel. A quick turn of his head showed the back of his head, platinum curls blowing in the mild breeze.

Affection swimming in his veins, Crowley made himself move. As much as he was enjoying the simple basking, he couldn’t resist slithering the short distance across the stone. And he couldn’t help but notice how Aziraphale’s shoulder was exactly level with the tall stone. How could Crowley refuse such a clear spot of manipulation?

His snout glided against Aziraphale’s neck before he nestled his head atop his shoulder with a contented hiss. The sunbeams soaking into his scales and that familiar taste on his tongue, Crowley soon drifted back into a happy sleep.

Smiling, Aziraphale quietly turned to the next page of his book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come play with me on [tumblr](https://syl-writes-stuff.tumblr.com/post/628070819479879680/snektember-day-01-sunbathing)!


	2. Basket

“Thisss is humiliating.”

“Hush.” Aziraphale didn’t slow down, the basket looped over his arm held close. His footfalls were silent, miraculously so, but they weren’t going to keep them out of trouble for long. It was Crowley’s fault for once, the angel coming to his rescue. It was adorable, really, but had he really only thought to bring a basket?

“I’m ssserious. Have I ever humiliated you by forcing you into a basssket?”

“No, you find other ways to humiliate me. Besides, I don’t believe I would fit in a basket.”

He couldn’t purse lips or scowl or much of anything he’d normally do, so Crowley poked his snout of his embarrassing hovel and hissed, tongue flicking out. Aziraphale pushed him back into the wicker torture chamber. “Rude,” he grumbled, shaking his head. 

“I suppose you’d prefer to go back into that laboratory.”

Crowley fell silent, considering the possibility. He’d been stuck behind glass for three days, the terrarium too small for him to shapeshift and the cameras off-putting. But those could’ve all been dealt with if not for the constant _presence_. There was always some poor sod coming in to try and wrangle him so they could ascertain his species and venom content - which was a bit like profiling, wasn’t it? He may have had a red underbelly, but that hardly meant his fangs would do much more than poke a nasty hole or two into some idiot. He hadn’t, hoping the humans would get bored with him and let him go, but then he’d heard the lovely word “dissection.” 

Honestly, his angel couldn’t have gotten there a moment too soon. So, mollified, Crowley curled up atop the tartan-patterned blanket.

“Nah, I’m fine here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come play with me on [tumblr](https://syl-writes-stuff.tumblr.com/post/628162053636538368/snektember-day-02-basket)!


	3. Ducks

It was mortifying. Absolutely degrading, if it came down to it, and Crowley simply wasn’t going to stand for it. At all.

Except when he slithered away, three peeping beings followed after him on unsteady webbed rubbery things loosely called feet. They were undeterred by his hissing, which made it worse. They should’ve scattered, fled in utter terror, but soft little wings flapped and tiny beaks let out happy little sounds.

Was it his fault he’d fallen asleep in an incubator?

N- Well... _Yes_. He’d only meant to hide in there for a moment, hot on the heels of a temptation that had gone a bit better than planned. He’d certainly managed to make the idiot a bit... volatile, but he hadn’t counted on that violence being aimed his way. He was just supposed to be some easy job, a man driven to violence enough that he’d attack his neighbor. Someone destined to be a priest, apparently, who would hopefully be discouraged and blinded by rage at his neighbor. Whatever. 

Crowley rarely paid attention to those sorts of one-soul-per-job deals or the motivations behind them. More likely, the neighbor would take this random attack as a reason to _become_ a priest. A lost soul he could’ve guided to the light had he had the right training. Crowley had seen it happen plenty, usually dashing in a quick, “The angel interfered with the subject, so I tempted this other guy he was working on,” or something similar to his reports. They were equal as far as Heaven and Hell were concerned. Canceling each other out since the first.

It wasn’t that bad, really. It made them both look competent _enough_ to each of their Head Offices. Just as Crowley had suggested when he’d first proposed their Arrangement: no one _cared_ who did what just so long as something was being done. They wanted boxes checked.

This box had just, unfortunately, come with eggs. Eggs which had hatched when the heat lamp had lulled his stupid snake brain to sleep. Their peeping had woken him up, actually, and the three little things followed him when he’d opened a hole in the side of the box. 

As he made his way across the yard, slipping through a chainlink fence to reach the street and hopefully get to his Bentley in peace, the ducklings simply followed him. They surrounded him when a taxi pulled up to the kerb and Crowley had never in his life been more relieved and more embarrassed to see hundred year old trousers.

Probably here to make sure priest neighbor stayed on the Right Path. Good, great, whatever. In a flash, he wound his coils around an ankle while the ducklings hopped about. “Angel! They won’t go _away_!”

The absolute bastard looked from the serpent to the three little ducklings and laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come play with me on [tumblr](https://syl-writes-stuff.tumblr.com/post/628250706978226176/snektember-day-03-ducks)!


	4. Sneks on a Plane

It had been such a nice day, really. Strolling into the airport, hand in hand because they could. Crowley had cheerfully - and in some pointed cases quite spitefully - informed anyone who would listen in increasingly less subtle ways that they were on their honeymoon. It was charming, endearing, precious... A culmination of things they’d both wanted for millennia and simply hadn’t been able to express.

They were free to do exactly as they liked now. They could and had married, though it was really only symbolic to them. They’d exchanged rings and a quiet little handfasting ceremony at the Third Alternative Rendezvous Point. A little way to make up for the hurt feelings they’d experienced in the heat of the impending Apocalypse. A little way to change poor memories.

Aziraphale rather adored thinking of the bandstand now, the way Crowley’s eyes had shone with tears he’d denied and still did deny whenever Aziraphale teased him for being an emotional wreck. Aziraphale hadn’t been able to stop smiling long enough to get teary, hand locked with Crowley’s and private promises exchanged right alongside wedding rings. It still made him smile just thinking of it, of the way Their Side had become something so solid.

Of course, that didn’t mean Aziraphale had forgotten who he’d married.

It had been such a nice day and such a nice flight until some woman in business class with them had sniffed and rather pointedly complained to her husband that they would just let anyone in first class nowadays. That would’ve been enough to warrant Aziraphale looking the other way on a little demonic mischief resulting in her having an unexpected ticket mixup or her bag mysteriously disappearing. But then she’d added something negative about “the homos” and “ugly snake tattoos.”

Crowley muttered something under his breath about “show her an ugly snake.”

After assuring him that, “Darling, you couldn’t possibly. You’re a lovely serpent,” Aziraphale retrieved his book. “You know, I believe I’ll get in a bit of reading.”

The screaming started three and a half minutes later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The companion piece for this can be found [here](https://darkshadows93.tumblr.com/post/628473464497602560/snektember-day-4-sneks-on-a-plane) and it's Crowley's perspective, lol.
> 
> Come play with me on [tumblr](https://syl-writes-stuff.tumblr.com/post/628474523097972736/update-darkshadows93-wrote-this-amusing)!


	5. Beach

The waves were like a dull roar, working their way up from his jaw bones and into his snake brain. He liked it. Each crash, the bluegreen waves cresting and colliding with one another. Splashed over shrieking children and teenagers desperate for enough height to make their surfboards worthwhile. He was nearly willing to make it a reality for them, but was a bit too comfortably lethargic to want to bother with miracles. Well... Maybe just one, the increase of waves gradual but exciting for the scattered humans. 

He rubbed his jaw over the golden sand, his hiss satisfied. The sun was soaking into his scales, the black of them swallowing the light and glinting under its radiance. It gave him more vitamins and nutrients than anything in the picnic basket, but he was looking forward to the bottle of wine. 

Later, though. He was enjoying being a long streak of unnoticed scales. His tongue flicked out. Sea salt and fish, sunscreen and sweat, familiar cologne and an old book.

Deciding he was far too hot, Crowley slithered across the warm sands and beneath the shade of an umbrella. He lifted onto a lounge chair, tongue tasting that cologne again and the familiar scent of the skin beneath. His scales brushed along it as he slid his way along the shaded wood, the soft skin of strong calves. The rounded belly, a rarely worn short-sleeved shirt hanging open, had Crowley flicking his tongue out again. Partly to drink in that intoxicatingly familiar scent and partly to tickle, pleased by the little squirm of a reaction it garnered.

Eventually, his long body was pressed against the soft one, chin to toes. His snout rubbed against the underside of that chin, book lifting with it, giving Crowley enough room to settle his head over his pale throat. It was intimate, flirtatious, and accepted with a smile and a soft chuckle that bounced his scales a bit. His tail wound its way around a thick thigh, smooth jaw rubbing against that throat until a hand caught him.

A kiss that made him wiggle was pressed right to his snout, a little stroke drawn down his long back, and his snake brain delighted in the attention. The rest of him delighted in the feel of that shade-cooled wedding band against his scales. He settled happily in the crook of his angel’s neck, watching the breeze tease pale curls, and fell asleep with a satisfied hiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come play with me on [tumblr](https://syl-writes-stuff.tumblr.com/post/628456381534584832/snektember-day-05-beach)!


	6. Snekspeare

“ _Your face, my thane, is as a book where men may read strange matters_.”

If snakes could roll their eyes...

“ _To beguile the time, look like the time_.”

Gag.

“ _Bear welcome in your eye, your hand, your tongue_.”

His teeth? Fangs, preferably. Not that they’d feel very welcome.

“ _Look like th’innocent flower_.”

Crowley flicked his tail against a stem, watching the pitiful excuse of a rose bob. Nothing innocent about these useless things.

“ _But be the serpent under’t_.”

He hissed in surprise when he was suddenly plucked up. Small as a garter snake, he fit easily in angelic palms.

“Now none of that, dearest. You’re behaving like a child. It’s only natural for our, er, new neighbors to be curious about us. And you’re going to meet them, with or without limbs.”

“Gonna introduce me, a _sssnake_ , as your husband, then?”

Aziraphale arched a brow. “Of course.”

“They’ll think you’re mad.”

Pale lashes fluttered innocently, his smile easy and charming. “Well. _To beguile the time, look like the time_.” It wasn’t as if he wanted constant company either. There was a reason their cottage was on the edges of town, quite a ways away from actual neighbors. He and Crowley loved humans, yes, but on their terms.

Besides, the pastry they’d brought in welcome had a bottom that was somehow both burnt _and_ soggy. Difficult to forgive, really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale's quoting [Macbeth](https://www.sparknotes.com/nofear/shakespeare/macbeth/page_34/) for his idiot husband, lol
> 
> Come play with me on [tumblr](https://syl-writes-stuff.tumblr.com/post/628831225045565440/snektember-day-06-snekspeare-your-face-my)!


End file.
